When Ros Ben -Moshe had to face the unpleasant fact that a malignant polyp had taken up residence in her bowel, she thought as many do, Why me! I have tried to do all things right, live a good, positive life, to laugh a lot and overall, live and breathe healthiness. Why ME!
As she was to discover, why not her; Why anyone, if it comes to that, appears to be selected to undertake this journey is still largely an unknown factor, with various triggers activating in some people and not others. Why her, indeed.
She was under pressure at work. A new position was on offer, a position which was her dream job and she had been granted her wish. Her life as health professional could not get a lot better. She was the mother of two teenage boys and her life partner of more than 25 years, Danny, was the love of her life.
On her 43rd birthday she was given the news that what appeared to be a clean colonoscopy, carried out a week earlier was not, and that immediate action was required in the form of surgery. Her world came crashing down.
Once the overall shock wore off and reality checked in, she had some sobering decisions to make; one of those was sit and lament or embrace everything she had ever learned, taught or read about healing, the wonderful power of love and laughter, and how both can help bring about transformation .
One of the ways she found to manage her feelings, rage, love, hope and despair, was to write it all down, which she did in the form of a diary, frank, unashamed and real. Some of the chapters are relatively short, others much longer, as she writes not only as an escape, but to also try to understand what was happening and why her!
Each section has a little notation attached offering questions to be answered, all relevant to the previous pages, all relevant to life in general and all, designed to make you revisit what you consider is important in your life, your day, your world. Such is the style of the ‘diary’ that it reaches past the cataclysmic events that created the work, to a place where it is very easy to take up the reflections offered and relate to them on a personal level regardless of your circumstances.
One year on from this momentous day, Ros has faced her demons, embraced the changes in her life, the family have made some other significant lifestyle decisions and life is good, but a very different style of good, to life after 43 and a cancer diagnosis.
Five years on and some further changes have seen Ros , after her five year check-up, deciding to revisit what she wrote on her very personal journey, offering her words, in the hope and love that her journey will help and encourage many others in a similar position.