Lotta is an organizational whizz! She is a mother of three young boys, happily married to a TV presenter, who has just been offered a promotion, and is herself studying she considers herself as a super-efficient, high achieving, and a good time gal.
Her husband has just announced that the promotion will mean their family will have to relocate to Auckland from Wellington. He is frequently flying off to one job or another, leaving Lotta to manage the selling and packing up of their home. She does this very efficiently and all seems well on the surface.
When we read the introduction to the book, written by Lotta, she explains that “5 o’ clock was now called wine o’clock” which was when the wine glass came out and was filled, with the steady drinking beginning for the evening.
She considered this reasonably normal, but this was now happening every evening, with parties and barbeques proving great venues for drinking really solidly; after all she is the “Party Girl”.
At this point Lotta is confronted by two voices in her head. One is saying that all is OK, you are coping, you are the fun party girl and it’s just a few drinks. The other voice is saying that the vomiting, the headaches and the terrible hangovers most nights of the week can’t possibly be good for you.
She decides to talk to her husband and hint that maybe she has a problem. He is supportive but suggests that she only have one or two drinks each night. AHHHHH! He just doesn’t get it. She can’t do that. In fact, that is one of the indicators that there is a major problem.
There comes a moment when she finds herself crawling on the pantry floor trying to hide a bottle of wine from her husband. This is her lowest moment. She realizes this is not the way she wants her life to unfold and so the battle begins.
After much research Lotta decides on a course of action that will mean that she NEVER drinks again! To come to terms with this, she writes her thoughts and feelings down as she feels comfortable being able to do this and review her writing later. The idea is that this may help to quieten her other voice.
She then decides to use a blog page to write her entries down; her page heading is “Mrs D is going without”
Each day she records her thoughts and feelings; the anguish and desperation that occurs when giving up an addictive substance. Having given up cigarette smoking I could relate to a few of her feelings, especially the grief and loss.
The most shocking revelation for Lotta is that life seems to be an emotional roller coaster. As she analyses her emotions she realizes that alcohol had masked many emotions from her past and present. Now she has to confront and deal with many of these.
Gradually people begin to respond to her blogs with love and support and wisdom. She is astonished that people could provide her with a whole community of support and strength, both from people who are travelling the same path as she is and people who have tried and failed. It gives her the determination to continue on this journey.
This is almost a day by day recording of a person trying to come to terms with an addiction and beating it. It is intense and involving, and I’m sure would provide some help or insight to someone with similar issues. She is certainly a gutsy, smart, determined lady.
|Publisher||Allen & Unwin|