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First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors: Modern-Day Secrets to Being Desired, Cherished, and Adored for Life

There are many self-help books relating to relationships, but this one certainly catches the attention with its humorous title. Laura considers she has many answers to problems with stale relationships and difficult marriages. She speaks from a female perspective and as an American counsellor.

The sections of the book are addressed to women and refer to “The six intimacy skills”. The sections are “Replenish your spirit with self-care, Restore Respect, Relinquish control of your man, Receive, Receive, Receive, Reveal your heart with vulnerability and Refocus your view with gratitude”.

When seeking counselling advice for a troubled marriage or personal issues, it is always wise to check the professional’s qualifications. If that person has a degree in Marriage Counselling, it means they have studied for at least three years and have been under supervision for quite some time.

This will help to avoid the issues which the author faced, and will allow for a three way communication to open up. Her experience, that a Marriage Counsellor’s first assumption that “Something is wrong with you and needs to be fixed or medicated” just won’t happen if you first make sure the person is properly qualified to help you.

The segment on “Replenishing your spirit” is quite interesting. The idea of making a list of things that make you happy, and making sure you do three things from the list each day sounds fun. Knowing what you want and being able to express your needs is an important part of any person’s life path. Without these skills and those of careful negotiation, we all falter.

This is a self-help book with a difference. It is well set out and simple to read and follow. The fact that Laura spoke to many women to gain ideas about how their marriage flourishes’, gives this book a feeling of authenticity. Some of the statements made, such as “Your husband is better with the money than you”’, are questionable. Other suggestions such as using the word “Ouch” when someone hurts your feelings make good sense.

very self-help book has something for someone and the author’s perspective in this book is firmly based on the women being responsible for the marriage and culture of the family.  She has had many years of experience helping people and is happy to share her plan with us.

AuthorLaura Doyle
PublisherBenBella Books