Yes, we understand that we need to be forgiving, and that will truly help us to move on past those grumbling grudges that pop up often. However, there is so much that is not quite clear about WHY, we should do this. After all, a grudge is a good thing to bring out on a grumpy day isn’t it? The author has made a great effort to explain these basic questions with chapter headings like “Why it matters’” and “What forgiveness isn’t.”
The quote from C.S Lewis begins this book and is so apt. He says,” Everyone thinks forgiveness is a lovely idea until they have something to forgive.” The author defines forgiveness here and makes sure the reader knows that the power to decide their thoughts is wholly in their hands.
The power to choose whether you will carry resentment about is yours only. Interestingly she also gives a list of the things that forgiveness is NOT. It is,” Not instead of or the same as Restorative Justice.” This is used in many schools to help create peace and decrease bullying. You can be forgiving, but still keep clear boundaries.
The author expands on why holding grudges and hanging onto anger is harmful for you. Without the feelings of peace, and resolution you would be unable to move on and grow as a person. You would live your life in the past and be oversensitive in social situations. There is a “Reward Centre in the brain which seems to be activated by the thought of revenge,” which makes it easier to understand why the feeling of “Getting someone back,” has such appeal. This is especially true of younger people.
In part two of this book, the author discusses why forgiveness is so hard to do. There is another meaningful quote here from Gerald Jampolsky, which says, “Forgiveness is giving up all hope for a better past.” That is truly the heart of the issue. Accepting that the past will always be the same, but that you can change, and become aware of exactly what it is that you hold resentment about. However, letting go of anger and resentment can leave us feeling emotionally vulnerable. Again, this is about how your feelings are responding, and expressing them will help to clarify situations.
Barbara suggests we use a multiple of reasons which suit us personally to make the decision to forgive, even as an experiment to test the truth of the theories is a fine enough basis to begin this process. The step by step guide that is provided here, and the reasons WHY we need to behave this way, are sensible and compelling. This is a seriously easy and interesting guide to understand Forgiveness and why it is so very important for a healthy and happier life.
|Author||Barbara J Hunt|
|Publisher||Barbara J Hunt|
|Distributor||Barbara J Hunt|